To transform the emptiness of loneliness, to the fullness of aloneness. Ah, that is the secret of life !

I've lost a big big BIG part of me. I am sad, terribly broken, frustratingly depressed. The purest part of me is dying slowly but gradually. i feel helpless. i feel stupid. I want to cry till the dawn, yet i want to hide my tears before the sunrays sneak in. i want to loose myself forever, bitterly seems the end of inner me. the flame is goin milder and milder and i numbly feel the ruthless cold of a dead soul.
It seems there is no tomorrow, there aint a sunrise, there aint the warmth of life, there aint anyone to look upon, there aint a "sumone" to hold on, there aint a reason to fight for, there aint a reason to cry for, there aint a fragrance which would remind of the bliss i've had. i want to stop writing, i want to avoid the miserable existence and disappear into the trap of dullness. i want to be black and white. i want to get rid of wantin anything anymore !