I am coward because i cannot argue with my loved ones.

ULTIMATE FULLSTOP ! so now this is where I GIVE UP and my CAREER finally dies. : l

Words Will Not Be Able To Ever Express
How Sorry I Am For This,
And I Have Profound Regret And Sorrow
For The Multitude Of
Mistakes And Harm
I Have Caused.

?

May i cherish the bliss what i hold now; though its mere a mirage,
gone are the virtues for ones belief.
Tender, crisp, blunt, piercing feels it to the warm heart; though i am with NONE.
May b i ll have the best of days, but ll i have the life LEFT !
She is fragile who has the heart to set off being lifeless just to amid; live to by a stranger so futile, so normal, so SELF.
Whom am i to answer; what shalt thy tweak; condolences don't WORK on tears.
Days left are thou to feel, eyelashes still cut sharp deep.
The rains sense too dry, thirst flames the cold blood; Anger urges without fierce,
lost the equilibrium, or yet to ? gone is the love or yet ? or am i too selfish to keep it forever ? How to learn to give it to her,needing the most. dishearten seems the hope; blind goes the trust, helpless yet strong and firm.
promises to complete bounds infinite PULL, whose the trolley and what is the PULLEY !
Change, they say is congenital to lord, who shall i seek ? Grains will flow, grey ll be the fibers, yellow goes the teeth, wrinkles spread apart; i find me whilst the woods going still kiss on the neck.
would i stay warm ? would her be along ? how would she cope ? its the end of luster and apathy to confront, though JUST ONE LIFE !

During wind and rain !

They sing their dearest songs --
He, she, all of them -- yea,
Treble and tenor and bass,
And one to play;
With the candles mooning each face....
Ah, no; the years O!
How the sick leaves reel down in throngs!

They clear the creeping moss --
Elders and juniors -- aye,
Making the pathways neat
And the garden gay;
And they build a shady seat....
Ah, no; the years, the years;
See, the white storm-birds wing across!

They are blithely breakfasting all --
Men and maidens -- yea,
Under the summer tree,
With a glimpse of the bay,
While pet fowl come to the knee....
Ah, no; the years O!
And the rotten rose is ript from the wall.

They change to a high new house,
He, she, all of them -- aye,
Clocks and carpets and chairs
On the lawn all day,
And brightest things that are theirs....
Ah, no; the years, the years;
Down their carved names the rain-drop ploughs.

No communication expected

Somehow i got to stay out of arguments for few weeks from now. People in Pune suck. their childish mentality suck :P m out of it.

: (

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
And I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things that I've done
And things that haven't occurred yet
And things that they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times that I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

Because I'm in the streets like every day
I'm sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
I'm sorry that you had to go and sell those bags
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from dad

When you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though pops treated us like kings
He got a second wife and you didn't agree

He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief

I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would've listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry that your life turned out this way
I'm sorry that the Feds came and took me away

I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani

I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy shouldn't never let her out that young

I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage?
In a 21 and older club they say

Why doesn?t anybody wanna take blame?
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame

Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me

And you can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me

Need for rejuvenating growing stronger !

I feel dead most of the times. feels like i need to take control of things before i am controlled by them. i feel no happy these days. i gotta find a new hobby to go mad for, quickly ! how do i get out of this ? how do i keep self motivated in these blunt situations ? need to work on myself ! 

To transform the emptiness of loneliness, to the fullness of aloneness. Ah, that is the secret of life !

I've lost a big big BIG part of me. I am sad, terribly broken, frustratingly depressed. The purest part of me is dying slowly but gradually. i feel helpless. i feel stupid. I want to cry till the dawn, yet i want to hide my tears before the sunrays sneak in. i want to loose myself forever, bitterly seems the end of inner me. the flame is goin milder and milder and i numbly feel the ruthless cold of a dead soul.
It seems there is no tomorrow, there aint a sunrise, there aint the warmth of life, there aint anyone to look upon, there aint a "sumone" to hold on, there aint a reason to fight for, there aint a reason to cry for, there aint a fragrance which would remind of the bliss i've had. i want to stop writing, i want to avoid the miserable existence and disappear into the trap of dullness. i want to be black and white. i want to get rid of wantin anything anymore !

Why do we like to bend towards rashes, numbness, dark infinity of mind ?

     Well i dunno much more about the reason but sometimes or may be many a times a day i find my mind engulfed in these thoughts. Why do we miss the good old time, and how does our mind find solace in keeping the memories held tight to chest, which is prolly already lost in nothingness of existenceship. The word "existenceship" itself proves i am tryin to put a hyphen between two different world. One means physics, dry life, one which one can touch, being there, solid, firm, constant, without any necessity to care for a reason about REASON.
goshhhhh :P its better to make the human brain to have a pit stop for a moment.     
God damnnnnn : | 
I MISS U AMOL ! :(